Friday | 16 January 2026

The way of understanding

Having addressed the culture of Christian womanhood and, in particular, the conduct of believing wives, Peter then attended to the conversation and conduct of believing husbands. He directed them, saying, ‘Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.’ 1Pe 3:7.

To ‘dwell with understanding’ does not mean that a man patronises his wife or compensates for her. Rather, it means that a husband gives himself to meet and relate to his wife by offering. We know this because Christ’s offering journey is called, in the Scriptures, ‘the way of understanding’. Pro 21:16. Isa 40:14. Offering is the action of love which is demonstrated by laying down one’s life to reveal another. A man lays down his life in offering for his wife as the vessel of headship. How does a Christian man do this?

Describing the love that a man should have for his wife, Paul said, ‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her … husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no‑one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.’ Eph 5:25,28‑29. A man nourishes his own person by receiving and eating the bread which comes down from heaven. Luk 4:4. The daily request for this bread is a key focus of a man’s prayer. Mat 6:11. As the head of his wife, he then nourishes and cherishes her as they, together, devotionally consider the word of present truth and its implications for their marriage and their household. In so doing, the word of the Lord is established as the agenda of the house.